MOM: Make your bed!
KID: Why make my bed if I'm gonna sleep in it again tonight?
MOM: Why wipe your ass if your gonna poop again?
KID: O_O

If sleep is important, then why the fuck does school start so early?

mmmmm… chicken burgers..

Dear Sleep,

You are so cute trying to compete with me.

Sincerely,
The internet

so what’s it gonna be?

Husband: Honey, If I died, would you get remarried?
Wife: Well, I suppose.
Husband: Would you and him sleep in the same bed?
Wife: I guess we would.
Husband: Would you make love to him?
Wife: He would be my husband then, dear.
Husband: Would you give him my golf clubs?
Wife: No... He's left handed.

Midnight Caller (Kokology #19)

As you fall asleep, you enter what could be called another world, as far from this one as any distant star. In that remote space, even familiar voices and sounds seem alien and strange. It is a world utterly removed from the one where we spend our waking hours, a world where the mind is free to roam.

You are lying in bed in that foggy zone between consciousness and sleep when the telephone of your bedside rings. It takes a tremendous effort to reach out for the receiver, almost as if you were moving underwater. You fumble to get the right ends aligned with your mouth and ear and manage to mumble, “Hello?” Who is the voice on the other end of the line, and what does that person say to you?