- Cop: "What's in the bottle?"
- Me: "It's water."
- Cop: "This is wine."
- Me: "What? That damn Jesus! He did it again!"
way to go officer!
- Cop: Sir, please step out the car and walk in a straight line.
- Drunk: *falls over*
- Cop: You're so drunk you can't even walk.
- Drunk: I know, that's why I'm driving. Duh?!
Fat Jesus is way hotter than Phil.