A Story About Man’s Best Friend

“When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was “bad,” you’d shake your finger at me and ask “How could you?” - but then you’d relent and roll me over for a bellyrub.

My housetraining took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed, listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because “ice cream is bad for dogs,” you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

James and Tom have been best friends for 40 years. James breaks a leg and Tom comes over to offer help.

Tom: Is there anything I can do for you?
James: You can go upstairs and grab my slippers.
Tom: (goes upstairs and sees James' hot twin daughters on the room) Your dad sent me up here to have sex with both of you.
Twins: prove it.
Tom: (yells) Hey James, both of them?
James: (yells back) Yes both of them. What good is fucking one?!

Title: Lucky

Artist: Jason Mraz

(Jason)
Do you hear me,
I’m talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I’m trying

(Colbie)
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

(Both)
I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh, ooooh, oooh, oooh,
Oooh ooh ooh ooh

(Both)
They don’t know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I’ll wait for you I promise you, I will

(Both)
I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we’re in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

(Jason)
And so I’m sailing through the sea
To an island where we’ll meet
You’ll hear the music fill the air
I’ll put a flower in your hair

(Colbie)
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you’re all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

(Both)
I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I’m lucky we’re in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh, ooooh, oooh, oooh,
Oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooooh, ooooh, oooh, oooh,
Oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.