April 2012
56 posts
“Why is patience a virtue? Why can’t “hurry the fuck up” a...”
Apr 15th
2 notes
10 tags
How dogs and cats think.
Dog: These people feed me, pet me, love me, they must be God.
Cat: These people feed me, pet me, love me, I must be a God.
Apr 15th
31 notes
6 tags
Apr 15th
21 notes
6 tags
Apr 15th
35 notes
5 tags
Apr 15th
12 notes
6 tags
Apr 15th
96 notes
6 tags
Apr 15th
55 notes
7 tags
Apr 15th
6 notes
8 tags
“My parents accused me of being a liar. I looked them in the face & said,...”
Apr 10th
9 notes
7 tags
Laws of Work
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. No one is listening until you make a mistake. When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried. Following the rules will not get the job done. Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous.”[[MORE]] Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail. He who hesitates is probably...
Apr 10th
1 note
7 tags
Apr 10th
1 note
9 tags
Apr 10th
7 notes
7 tags
Apr 10th
28 notes
6 tags
Apr 10th
18 notes
6 tags
Apr 10th
146 notes
8 tags
Apr 10th
11 notes
6 tags
“I do what I want, when I want, where I want.. if my mom says its okay.”
Apr 9th
2 notes
7 tags
An Old Cherokee Tale of Two Wolves
One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One is EVIL. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is GOOD. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity,...
Apr 9th
6 tags
ListenTitle: Always Love Artist: Nada Surf To...
Apr 9th
5 notes
6 tags
Apr 9th
11 notes
6 tags
Apr 9th
20 notes
4 tags
Apr 9th
6 notes
7 tags
Apr 9th
34 notes
7 tags
Apr 9th
12 notes
7 tags
“Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.”
Apr 6th
5 notes
7 tags
Ghetto pronunciation
Bathroom: Baafrumm
Refrigerator: Fridgerataa
Remote: Moken Troll
Apr 6th
8 notes
6 tags
When Is A Door Not A Door? (Kokology #50)
It isn’t every day that you have the time to take a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood: a stroll without purpose or destination, a chance to stretch your legs, let the mind wander, and get reaquainted with some old familiar sights. On your way, perhaps you’d stop in at a cozy coffee shop, explore the paths of a favorite park, or take the opportunity to do some window-shopping....
Apr 6th
1 note
6 tags
Apr 6th
23 notes
7 tags
Apr 6th
20 notes
6 tags
Apr 6th
7 notes
6 tags
Apr 6th
21 notes
8 tags
Apr 6th
5 notes
7 tags
“You break it, you buy it.” Hell no. I break it, slowly leave it there and...”
Apr 3rd
8 notes
10 tags
MOM: Make your bed!
KID: Why make my bed if I'm gonna sleep in it again tonight?
MOM: Why wipe your ass if your gonna poop again?
KID: O_O
Apr 3rd
16 notes
8 tags
Apr 3rd
6 notes
7 tags
Apr 3rd
8 notes
8 tags
Apr 3rd
4 notes
5 tags
Apr 3rd
13 notes
6 tags
Apr 3rd
98 notes
9 tags
Apr 3rd
21 notes
7 tags
“I hate when my dog watches me pick up his shit, I feel like his bitch.”
Apr 2nd
7 notes
6 tags
Teacher: Johnny, please use "discount" in a sentence.
Johnny: Yes ma'am, "Does discount as a sentence?"
Apr 2nd
7 notes
6 tags
Apr 2nd
3 notes
7 tags
Apr 2nd
26 notes
8 tags
Apr 2nd
7 notes
6 tags
Apr 2nd
20 notes
7 tags
Apr 2nd
1,119 notes
7 tags
Apr 2nd
4 notes
7 tags
“I found a spider in my bathtub! So I calmly grabbed a tissue, and very carefully...”
Apr 1st
11 notes
8 tags
Cop: "What's in the bottle?"
Me: "It's water."
Cop: "This is wine."
Me: "What? That damn Jesus! He did it again!"
Apr 1st
17 notes